Silicon Gulch Coming Soon

You might be a High-Tech Redneck if ...

• Yer e-mail address ends in "@SiliconGulch.com"
• You have a "Down Home Page" on the internet.
• If the bumper sticker on yer truck says, "My other computer is a laptop."
• Yer laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
• You've ever doubled the value of yer truck by installing a cellular phone.
• Yer computer is worth more than all yer cars combined.
• You wire yer network with jumper cables.
• Yer wife said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don't miss her.
• You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set yer drink on.
• You ever refer to yer computer as "Ole Bessy."
• Three Words: Daisy Duke Screensaver
• You start all yer e-mails with the words, "Howdy y'all."
• Yer spell checker knows words like, "Y'all",   "Yonder", and "Reckon."
• Yer cars sit in the yard because your garage is full of dead CPUs, printers, modems and monitors.
• Yer belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5" hard drive.
• You ever felt you had to move your computer desk so it didn't block the velvet picture of Elvis.
• Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spitcan.
• Smith & Wesson, the original point-and-click interface.
• When yer friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say, "Yeah, thanks, it's my spiffy new Phoenix BIOS."
• When yer wife catches you again with yer "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.
• When you order yer new pick-up truck with a gunrack and PCMCIA sockets.
• Yer PC Games collection consists of nothing but Bass Fishing tournament games.
• You only buy from Gateway because the cow-colored boxes are a hoot.